Release Your Tension

STORY OF JAGA SINGH

This story tell us not to be 'too kind' to our bosses…!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here it goes:

There's this Jaga Singh who was working for a multi-millionare as a night guard at his house.

One day, while the millionaire was driving out to catch
an early morning flight to conclude a business deal, Jaga Singh ran out from the guard house and stopped the millionaire's car just right in front of the gate.

He said 'Sir.... Sir.... are you going to board a plane?'
'Yes, why?' asked the millionaire. 'You had better cancel the trip. You see, last night I dreamt about the plane going to crash.'

Curious over the early morning fright that Jaga Singh had given, the multimillionaire decided to cancel his trip. 'You better be damn right for this is a million dollar deal.'

The following day, there were news reports that the plane which the millionaire was supposed to take had indeed crash landed!. 'Thank God I cancelled the trip.' the rich man said Realising that what Jaga Singh had said had come true, he called the Singh to see him.

When the guard was called that morning, the millionaire gave him his salary and FIRED him. WHY?

Think first....

Use your brains

Use your brains!!!!!

Still no idea??


Come on...... it is very easy....

Still drawing a blank????

Just imagine you are the Singh and you have saved your boss's life.........

OK-lah, since you do not want to 'use your brains' like Jaga Singh before you talk to your boss..........

Just scroll down for the answer....


ANSWER

Jaga Singh was supposed to guard the house at night.... NOT to Sleep and Dream all night!!!!!

The Importance of Documentation

A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Good Lord! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband; that's against the law. I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us into jail! All kinds of terrible things will happen. Absolutely not! I CANNOT sell you any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,

"You didn't tell me you had a prescription".



Moral : - Always give importance to documentation

Typing Errors

A daughter sent a telegram to her father on passing her B.Ed exams,
Which the father received as "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

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A husband, while on a business trip to a hill station sent a telegram to his wife
"I wish you were here."
The message received by the wife was "I wish you were her.."

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A man wanted to celebrate his wife's Birthday by throwing a party.
So he ordered a birthday cake. The salesman asked him what message he wanted put on the cake.
He thought for a moment and said, put "Getting older but you are getting better".
The salesman asked "How do you want me to put it?"
The man said 'Well...put "You are getting older" at the top and "But you are getting better" at the bottom.'

When the cake was unveiled at the party all the guests were aghast at the message on the cake.
It reads "You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom"

Marriage Humor

Wife : 'What are you doing?'

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband :'I was looking for the expiry date.'


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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife : 'Yes or no.'


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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'


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Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'


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Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady..'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'


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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'


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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'


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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'


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Son asked his mother the following question:

"Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies,

"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

"Son, all household appliances come in white."

Boss Kidnapped!!

Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in loud discussions during office time.....

Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"

They're asking for RM2 Million ransom, otherwise they're going to douse him with petrol and set him on fire.

We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."

One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?

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"About 1 litre."

 ANNUAL PARTY

All members of staff - please note that due to recession, there will only be one drink per person at this year's Annual Party.

And please bring your own cup!

Regards,

Management

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And what happened at the annual party !!! (Scroll down)
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No Plastic Bag Day

No Plastic Bag Day is a campaign initiated by the Selangor government to begin in 2010 and led by Elizabeth Wong, the Selangor State Government as the executive council. Implementation was carried out until today and was taken over by the Malaysian Nature Society (MNS) as a body responsible for the association. No Plastic Bag Day campaign which aims to cultivate a spirit of love for this land could serve as a daily habit and not just for the day Saturday for people across Malaysia.

Elizabeth Wong, Exco Kerajaan Negeri Selangor

 

 

 

The campaign give an impact on the environment not only for now, but for future generations. If we were to Speed Mart 99 or any large supermarket, even though it is not a Saturday, a notice will be displayed at the point of the campaign. Here we can see that the government is aware and sensitive to this problem and began to take appropriate action. No Plastic Bag Day campaign so far is accompanied and supported by organizations and large supermarkets such as Giant, Tesco, 99 Speed Mart, 7-Eleven, Carrefour, TGV, Guardian, Watson and others.

About 500 billion to 1 trillion plastic bags are used around the world. This means more than a million plastic bags per minute, and the multi-billion would be a garbage bag. So what is worrying about the plastic? Plastic is a material made from a precious resource - oil. More plastics we use today, so our fuel up less in the future. While plastic bags are produced, a carcinogenic substance, namely benzene, is produced. Plastic bags can not be expunge from the earth. Even if we reduce the use of plastic bags and now, there are many plastic bags already accumulated.

The use of plastic bags in daily life

 

In addition, Plastic bags belonging to one-use items. If burned, it releases carcinogens, a cancer-causing substance. If planted, in which toxins can enter our drinking water sources. Animals who think that plastic bags for food can die if eat that plastic bag. Besides plastic bags are causing, water diffusion occurs that causes flooding, and damage to soil fertility. Plastic bags belonging to one-use items to reproduce the trash. If we spend monthly shopping, we will wear it shopping or at least four plastic bags in various sizes. Jakarta produces about 6000 tonnes of garbage per day, more than half are non-organic garbage, especially plastics and paper.

Turtle thinks plastic bags are jellyfish

 

In economic aspect, the recycling of plastic bags do not bring profit, the cost of recycling a ton of plastic bags is USD $ 4000 and the result can only USD $ 32 in the commodity markets. To produce plastic bags each year, 12 million barrels of oil is required. Added the current oil crisis occurred which resulted in the boom in prices of fuel oil (BBM). Reduction of plastic bags will reduce our dependency on oil from foreign countries. If we use reusable bags instead of plastic bags can be saved 6.

If only one of five people in Malaysia to adopt this habit, we can reduce the bag over the age of 110,822,400,000 of our lives. Several countries have banned the use of plastic bags. For example, China has banned free plastic bags gift. Consequently, China will save 37 million barrels of oil.

* Credit to Muhd Zulfazli Azim